While he is sleeping

white cat sleeping

I watch him as he is sleeping, so sweet, so peaceful.

I wonder if he really knows just how much he means to me,
and how many times he has saved me from the dark.

I watch him as he dreams, eyes flickering, hearing his cute little noises as he breathes.

Does he dream of wild things and running through the woods?

Does he dream of climbing trees and chasing birds?

I wonder if he dreams of something more....

Have I been to him, all that he is to me?

Wait for it....


Today is 5 years....

I rescued Roo from Sacramento many years ago he had been living at his house his whole life
but his owner died 2 years prior to us meeting. She was an elderly lady and one night she went
outside to feed Roo and she fell down and later died from her injuries.

The daughter of the lady then moves in and blames Roo for her mother's death and decides to
pretend that he just doesn't exist, she kicked him out of his own house.

When I met Roo, my heart just broke in two, he weighed only six pounds,his mouth was
so inflamed from bad teeth, his tongue stuck out and he drooled constantly.

I decided to rescue Roo and I took him home.

I took Roo to the vet for an exam 2 days later and their diagnosis was not good,
he had been so malnourished that there was not much left of him.
He had pharyngitis (strep throat), Stomatitis, ulcers inside his entire mouth
and he had an enlarged kidney, they recommended euthanasia.

Ok, well, I don't agree with making any animal suffer but I had just spent the weekend with Roo
prior to his vet visit, I looked into his eyes and it was so easy to see that all Roo wanted was to be loved. He was in bad shape but the thought of his story ending this way was too much for me to handle.

I told the vet 'no way' and I took Roo home. I wanted Roo to experience what it felt like to be loved
and cared for, if even for a little while I put Roo on a round of antibiotics and pain medication and hoped for the best.

4 weeks later I took Roo in to see a different Vet, he then weighed 10 pounds 14 ounces and he was thriving. He would eventually reach 16 pounds which is a far cry from the 6lbs when we first met.
He still had issues with his mouth but not like before, no drool and his tongue was back in his mouth because the swelling was gone.

The vet said that Roo looked great, she thought that at some point Roos teeth would need to be pulled, all of them but it would have to be later because he had been through too much already.
We actually managed his mouth issues for a long time.

Almost five years later Roo began feeling ill and we thought it was because of his teeth. We scheduled the surgery and they pulled all of his teeth but when Roo woke up from surgery he was blind, he had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. His blindness was permanent.

I was crushed. All I had ever wanted to do for Roo was help him but there he was so scared after surgery and in pain and I could barely even take it.
The following days he managed it better than I did and somehow he began to adjust a little to the sight loss., he would even go up and down the stairs in our house.

He was an inspiration.

But on November 28, 2011 I woke up to Roo being ill again, this time though, something was different, he sat with his nose to the ground and he just looked defeated. The vet thought at this point there may be a tumor or something and said we would have to do all of these tests but I chose to have Roo put to rest that day. The vet gave him a shot that would not take hold right away,...we lived up the road and I was able to get him there and sit with him all wrapped up in his blue blanket and watch him go peacefully as I told him how very much we loved him.

You know, Roo walked in to my life when my life was already full and some how found a place
that just belonged to him.

He is was my shadow, following me from room to room and when I would sleep he was under my chin, always.

He was Mikey's friend too.

When I think back to the time when Roo was out in the cold, starving, sick and all alone, as people did nothing but sit back and watch as he was slowly dying, I am angered and saddened all at the same time and I am thankful that I am not a person with the ability to just look away.
I am also thankful that I said 'no way' to putting Roo to sleep that day when we first met, it only reinforces my thoughts that if you listen to your heart, your heart will always show you the way.
Roo was put to rest on November 28, 2011.
His presence in our lives is missed every single day.
Roo’s spirit taught me so much about appreciating life…right now.
His sweet soul and kind heart will live on…

for as long as I live, he shall not die.


I wonder if they knew one another

It's crazy because of all the scenarios I had played in my head while I was pregnant with my son back in 2003....
I never ever imagined it would go the way that it went.
There was no way to prepare for his death at all.
I was 6 1/2 months pregnant one minute, decorating his room, gathering things that he would need...nesting I suppose.
And then the next minute I was in hospital bed surrounded by nurses and Doctors who were telling me that my son was going to die as soon as he was born.... which was 12 long hours later. 12 hours of listening to his little heart beat inside of me, knowing it would soon come to a stop.
I suffered from a Placental Abruption, oh but I was suffering from so much more.
I held him afterwards for a long time, we even napped together for an hour. I got to put a diaper on him and a little hat and shirt and wrap him in a blanket. They took photos of him for me and before we left the hospital they gave us a little satin box that contained a birth/death certificate (not a certified one but a hand written one), it also contained these little cards with his hand prints on them and his footprints...a Keepsake Box .
Within a couple of days we were picking out his itty bitty casket and then a plot at the cemetery, his funeral was so surreal to me....I just wanted to go home. My heart ached, my head ached and my body ached...my body did not understand that he had died and so I had all the milk but no baby to feed, it was physically uncomfortable and emotionally excruciating.
On the way home I remember thinking about the little white kitten that had been following me around since my son had passed on...he had been sitting up with me each night as I cried and following me from room to room during the day.
Through all of the sorrow I was feeling in that moment after the funeral, I felt this little bit of comfort knowing he would be there when I got home...I mean that thought literally took the edge off...
Now, 13 years later I wonder if they knew one another, Mikey and my Son...
Because the plan worked so perfectly.

Or could this have been just one of those things?

I don't think so.

The footprints here belong to my Son and the Model is Mikey
You can read our entire story below if you want to.
In Memory of
Johnny Boyd Brown
A Little Boy Born too Soon
July 1, 2003- July 1, 2003

Mikey's House

Well....she made it through surgery ok....Thank God!

But Dr. Weber said her mouth was in REALLY bad shape.

He said it was so tore up that he could not even get her gums to hold a suture. (my poor girl :()

So...he wants to keep her a couple of days in the hospital but I barely have enough money to cover the surgery let alone 2 days in the hospital.

He said he needs to be able to flush her mouth out and keep a close eye on her.

I get that.

So back to fundraising I go, no fun no fun.

And to top it off I spent the entire day online with customer support for Wepay (donation pay site) trying to fix a problem that I never created. They had things all screwed up but finally came through at the end of the day and got things back together.

I am drained. I want to see her so bad. I am bummed she is not coming home tonight. :(

I know you have all done so much already but if you could at least share this maybe someone will want to help out.

Thanks everyone.

Mitsi's Donation Page


If you want to Donate directly to her Vet you can do that below

Newberg Veterinary Hospital

(503) 538-8303

(You will need to give them my name Jennifer Moore and Mitsi's name.)

You can also Donate by PayPal

My Paypal email is




Mitsi Needs Help

Stomatitis is a severe, painful inflammation of a cat's mouth and gums. 
In most cases, the condition causes ulcers to form in the mouth; these ulcers can involve the lips, tongue, gums, and back of the throat.
 It is an awful, awful, painful disease and the only possible cure is to have ALL of the teeth removed. 
Most cats do very well once the teeth are gone. 
I want this for her, she doesn't deserve to live in such pain everyday. 
I rescued her so she would have a happy ending, please help me make that happen for her. Please.
Donations are at $468. 
Surgery cost $800

Mitsi's Donation Page 

If you want to Donate directly to her Vet you can do that below
Newberg Veterinary Hospital
Dr. Tina Johnson
(503) 538-8303
(You will need to give them my name Jennifer Moore and Mitsi's name.)

You can also Donate by PayPal

My Paypal email is


The photo on the left is Mitsi before she got sick....

She was always sprawled out across my bed.

The Photo on the right is now...

Under my bed. :(

She is so withdrawn from life.


Donations are at $400 and I am just so unbelievably grateful for you all. 

I know I still have another $400.00 to go but half way is so dang awesome.

I feel like their is hope starting to seep in.

I am in the process now of contacting a couple of more organizations for addition funding.

Not sure how much they will help with, if they help at all but I will know soon.

I want this so badly for her, I can feel it inside, this anticipation of the day the pain stops.

I don't even know how to thank you all for being so kind...

You just have to know that this means so much to me and to Mitsi.

I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel for her...

And it's because of you.

Thank you.

Mitsi's Donation Page 


If you want to Donate directly to her Vet you can do that below

Newberg Veterinary Hospital
Dr. Tina Johnson
(503) 538-8303
(You will need to give them my name Jennifer Moore and Mitsi's name.)

You can also Donate by PayPal

My Paypal email is

Mitsi Needs Surgery Soon

Well....Mitsi woke up this morning and she had blood on both sides of her face, down the front of her and on het front legs and paws. The bleeding was obviously from her mouth but it had stopped bleeding but she was a mess.

After I gave her some pain meds I then cleaned her up somewhat as you can see here...once the meds kicked in she wanted to help with the cleanup....but first she ate 2 small cans of food. Usually, she eats just one.

She has been on Veraflox for a couple weeks now, before that it was clavamox and before that it was some other antibiotic. My poor girl has been on one or another since March. She also gets Buprenix daily for pain and she was on steriods for a while. The pain meds take the edge off, but only the edge.

I feel like such a jerk for putting her through all of this...its just difficult to give up on her when she is otherwise healthy.

I rescued Mitsi a few years ago when she was pregnant and living under a trailer. It was raining and she was cold and hungry, she was feral and so scared but she was soooo pregnant, ready to have them any minute, I think that is the reason she allowed me to grab her that night. I had tried to get her before with no luck at all.

I remember bringing her home that night, she just acted so grateful. 

She had her babies the very next day, we were thrilled. For the next two months or so, we were all in heaven...Mitsi was too. She was safe and so were her kittens. They had their own space away from the other animals and all they had to do was just enjoy each day.

It was incredible, she was such a good Mama.

When the kittens were ready I created an online application for their adoption, we had 50 applicants. All of them went to awesome homes and I decided I wanted to keep Mitsi.

She is really a great cat but since she was Diagnosed with Stomatitis, she hides a lot because it hurts so bad.

When she came home with me that first night, all I wanted is for her to have a good life since she had it so rough before.

But she is not having a good life.

The vet needs to pull all of her teeth for her to have a pain free life, I want that for her so badly, she so deserves that. 

But its not happening, I dont have $800 for the surgery. Over the last few years I have spent over $2000 on her illness, but its been a little at a time. 

I have tried GofundMe and raised some..bless all of you who have given to her, every dime has went for her care. I save every receipt also.

I have tried different organizations but they want people that are unemployed or have some hardship but I dont have either. I just have a little kid and 6 other cats to support which doesnt leave me a lot left over. The bills are paid , we have what we need...except for this surgery.

I spoke with her vet and we are going to get together in the next few days to figure out what we need to do...

If we cant get this done, I wont have any other choice but to put her to rest because this is really no way to live for her...her mouth looks like hamburger meat inside and now she is getting the ulcers on her chin and lips.

I cant do this anymore, I love her too much.

This is not how it was all suppose to go...I just wanted to help her.

So this is my last ditch effort...

If anyone wants to donate money for her surgery you can do so by donating directly to Mitsi's vet. Her vets nane is

 Tina Johnson at Newberg Veterinary Hospital

 the number is 


If you do donate to her vet please let me know this way I am not calling the vet constantly.

I also have Paypal so if that is easier then you can do that also.

My PayPal email is ibjennyjenny@hotmail.com

Prayers work too and your support means everything to me.

I just have to give it another try. 

Thanks for reading this I know it was long.



Are you a bad person because you choose NOT to look at abused animals?

No, I do not believe that you are a bad person at all.

Each of us has a tolerance level  as to how much we can take in when it comes to these stories of abuse and neglect.

Animal abuse and neglect is awful, there is no way around that fact. Some of the images out there are just heart wrenching and the video's are enough to make you want to throw up.

I believe that the first reaction of most people when faced with these stories is to look away because no one wants to see an animal in distress. It makes us sad and we feel helpless and why would anyone want to feel that way on purpose?

However, if there is one thing that I have learned in this life it is this...

If we don't look...we don't see.

I am not suggesting that people sit around watching animal abuse stories all day long, I certainly don't. I do have a rule though, if a story presents itself in front of me at any given time....I find the courage to read, to look or to watch.


Because change only happens when we face the problem.

I have literally been sick to my stomach with some of the abuse cases that I have seen, the images are etched in my mind but those images are the match that ignites the flame inside me because I cannot go to sleep or go anywhere and do anything without trying to do something to help in some way.
It is so difficult to see, there is no doubt about it. I bet it is even more difficult for those animals to be living that nightmare.

I picture myself somewhere living in deplorable conditions, being hungry and abused daily and then watching as people walk by but never look at me and hearing them say "no, I just can't look"
Now I know animals don't understand our words but they understand pain and fear and suffering just as we do.

It is frustrating I know because we want to help them all and we can't by ourselves and so we tell ourselves why look and put myself through that when I know I cannot do anything about it?
I will tell you why because they need you to see them because someone is hurting them and you would be surprised at what you can do once that flame inside you has been ignited.

I heard recently that people on Facebook are trying to get pictures from rescue groups banned because they cannot handle seeing the images in their news feed.

I'm sorry but this is where they lost me.

Those pictures from rescue groups are trying to get your help for those animals that are being abused.

Maybe we should put our energy into trying to stop the abuse instead of the pictures.

The animals finally have a way to show you what is happening to them...social media is powerful and really does help them a lot.

Why would anyone want to to stand in the way of that?

Just because we may choose to look away doesn’t mean the torment is not happening.



Took Mitzi in this morning to the vet and they gave her some pain meds, steroids and some antibiotics and I got a new estimate for her Extractions for $862. Whoo Hooo So excited right now. 
I took her to the same vet that cared for Mikey and I am so happy that I did.
So here is the new info I have for Donations.
Mitzi's vet is Tina Johnson (My Hero for all of time) at Newberg Veterinary Hospital
Newberg Veterinary Hospital

You can make donations directly to them if you wish to.
Mitzi's Gofundme page

Or you can donate by Paypal at ibjennyjenny@hotmail.com
I appreciate you all so, so much. Thank you.
Mitzi is feeling so much better this morning. Her Vet says the teeth need to come out very soon. Her heart and lungs sound awesome but her mouth looks like hamburger meat. Yikes!
So I am crossing my fingers and I am hoping to make some photo sales this week that will go towards her care. Every little bit helps.
Thank you so much for your support, your advice, your donations but most of all those Prayers, they really work and you people ROCK! I just love you so much.

I was thinking today...

It seems that I am always caring for at least one cat that needs help. LOL Thing is, I think I thrive this way. Don't misunderstand me, I do not like it when any of my babies are sick but when I am caring for one who really needs some special attention....there is not another time that I feel as useful ...
I know that rescuing them is suppose to be about them but it has become about me also even if that sounds bad...it's true.
I believe this is what I am suppose to be doing in this life and it's what I want to do.
That feeling when you have put in in hours and hours of coaxing time for months with a feral and they finally let you in...
When you spend days nursing someone sick back to health, that moment when you realize they are going to be ok....
That feral Mama cat that I just knew would attack me the moment she saw me while trying to give birth but she didn't and allowed me to share the moment and even help....
The look of a dozen feral cats that have full tummies...
The look of my 7 cats with full tummies....
That feeling I had the day I decided a feral cat in our neighborhood needed help and I managed to get him in a carrier without trapping him....that was truly a joyous day...
I get high off this stuff I swear I do....the adrenaline gets going and my heart starts beating fast, its wild.
Being friends with them is the most important thing to me , I always want it so bad and when it happens I am walking on sunshine.
I am not sure when my life really became this way, it seems like it has just always been this way.
They give me purpose, they give me a sense of right, of doing right.
I know I cannot help them all...but you can bet your boots I will be helping someone.
Model is Mikey in a Photoshop Painting I did of him from the photograph. It is one of my favorites.
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